Sometimes i wonder why i feel this way. I kept asking Him to take it away, yet i just can't help but feel this way. Maybe the problem with me is that i'm too attached, too sentimental... Maybe If i weren't this way, I wouldn't be feeling hurt and utter disappointment right now. In the back of my head, i kept repeating to myself: dead people won't feel the hurt or if i love to be loved, then i know nothing of Calvary's love. I hate it, it just hurts...

...yet maybe i shouldn't be feeling this way. I don't want to feel this way, yet I do. but why? am I selfish then? maybe i'm just too self-centered. urg. sick!

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