Love. something that is hard to grasp. even more so, something that is hard to do.

O Beloved of my Soul,
This do I desire:
Faith for the impossible,
Love that will not tire.
Jesus, Saviour, Lover, give me
Love for the unlovable,
Love that will not tire.

O Beloved of my Soul,
Yet again I come;
Give me cords of Love to draw
Many wanderers home.
Jesus, Savious, Lover, give me
Love that knows no stain nor flaw-
Love to lead them home.
-Amy Carmichael.

"For I am confident ,of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart..." Phil 1:6-7

Have you ever fervently prayed for someone that resulted in utter disappointment? Does it sometimes seem like its hard to love? Does it seem like your prayers are not been heard? be reminded that "Love will perfect that which it begins. It will not forsake the work of its own hands." -carmichael.

Lord, my prayer is that you will remind me of this everyday. Teach me to love and not grow tired. Teach me to love that knows no hurt nor disappointment. For YOU, O Lord, has burdened my heart for a purpose. O Love of God, cause my heart to say: "His love in me, will not forsake the work of my master's hands."

Sometimes i wonder why i feel this way. I kept asking Him to take it away, yet i just can't help but feel this way. Maybe the problem with me is that i'm too attached, too sentimental... Maybe If i weren't this way, I wouldn't be feeling hurt and utter disappointment right now. In the back of my head, i kept repeating to myself: dead people won't feel the hurt or if i love to be loved, then i know nothing of Calvary's love. I hate it, it just hurts...

...yet maybe i shouldn't be feeling this way. I don't want to feel this way, yet I do. but why? am I selfish then? maybe i'm just too self-centered. urg. sick!

...

lesson of the day:

don't expect much from people, in fact, don't expect anything at all...

...because...

...well, you can fill in the blanks yourself.

i thought...

...but i thought wrong.

..sigh...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! i can't even begin to explain the joy that is in my heart!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!! for He is good!!! it was sooo crazy last night; the Lord totally moved!!!!

...kat reminded us (tim and I) yesterady that "today is the day of salvation..." and PTL!!!! because it surely was!!!!! thank you everyone who has been praying!!!!

.....HO!!!!

..........HEY!!!!!!......

....full of just JOY.. during the whole car ride back last night, I was screaming in my car singing: "The enemy has been defeated, death couldn't hold you down, we're gonna lift our voice in victory, we're gonna make our praises loud!!" and then i thought: 'salvation is here, salvation is here and LIVES within!!!" HO Satan, you lose!! HO! Loser!

there is a joy joy joy joy down in my heart. where? down in my heart. where? down in my heart....

"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for i have found my sheep which was lost!!' I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance." Luke 15:4-7

...and right now, our Father has found his lost sheep.. PTL!!! and what is our Father doing? REJOICING. along with all the other angels in heaven for his son who has come home!!! Praise be to HIM forever and ever!! AMEN!

i really am going to miss these guys. one of them has already left us. WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! i never thought that it'll be soo hard to leave toronto.... but this summer, the Lord has really put amazing people in my life and has shown me amazing revelations of things to come.... hmmmm... so torn!!!

so. what to blog about? ........... G O D !!!!!

....i love God. These past few weeks has been rough!!! To sum up everything that has happened with one line, it would be....God is good!!! Yesterday at a prayer meeting, the Lord really spoke to me about an intimate relationship we MUST have with Him. Many times, we talk of things we want to do, such as expanding the kingdom of God for His glory and name. Not that its not good to make an action plan, but i feel like many times we don't reallly expand his kingdom because we don't know where to draw our strength from, or i dare say: without the former, it is impossible to please or to do anything for God. Therefore no action plan could ever work without our intimate relationship with our Lord. Its really easy to write a good sermon, or to plan a good program, but if they are not a mere manifestation of who we are or our intimate relationship with God himself during our quiet times, then i'm sorry to say, they are all for nothing.

....so don't fool ourselves.... its no good.

..... what got me thinking all of this? it was when a friend said to me yesterday: "Cora hears, we need her!" I think its cool and encouraging to hear that, but at the same time, i thought, " shouldn't we all hear? wouldn't it be great if we all do?" Intimate relationship. The Lord desires to speak to ALL of us!

....so i shall leave you all this verse:

...that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with al the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen -Ephesians 3:16-21

... that we may know the Love of Christ through an intimate relationship with Him.....DAILY!!!
...that we will be STRENGTHENED with POWER when we are rooted and grounded in LOVE
....and then what? that we may be able to COMPREHEND with ALL the saints........ His LOVE that surpasses ALL knowledge
....and what? we may be filled up to the FULLNESS of God. wow!
....and i don't think its a coincidence that the next verse comes in right after. because after being filled and grounded in His love, finally the Lord is able to in US, far MORE abundantly beyond all that we ask or think!!!! ...wow. indeed. to Him be the glory!!!

....so how do we expand the kingdom of God? Maybe the first question should be, how can the Lord expand our own hearts?

Its not that she wanted it in the first place, so why does the absence of it leaves her with this nostalgic tugging in her heart? In her mind, she repeats to herself: "you give and take away..." Yet, the questions still lingers on: "if i didn't ask for it in the first place, why did you place it in my life only to have it be taken away?"

..... then the bigger question remains: what about the things i'm praying for in faith...? are they given as well only to be taken away....?

...Lord, in this hour of confusion, may you provide comfort, peace, and the assurance of your love.

me and sonja! love that girl!

i love this picture of mel!

jazz festival in montreal!

our last day..:(

group pic!

we made those hats!

me, sonja, shags!

jazz festival at montreal!!!

nice view!! we bought those swords from the dollar store! greatest investment EVER!!!

girl power!

we were trying to do something here...

vicky, mel, me

weee....

trip to ottawa!! sorry it took me soo long to post them up!