Encouraged by a dear friend of mine, i decided that i need to journal it down. so why not blog it and let people read it? :)

It was an ordinary Saturday night; before heading back to London, she decided that it would be nice to visit her friend Karyn. They converse freely, talking about all that their God is doing in Toronto-the healing of the nation, revival in churches, changes on campuses etc. Being excited of the revival that is happening all around her, she drove back to London that day, feeling a sense of unsettled yearning to see more. This young girl said to her God, "Father, why aren't I seeing all that you have mentioned in ACTS. I want to see more; please father, I want to be obedient. Give me a word, like the one you gave to karyn's pastor; father, i also want a word and follow it through with obedience!"

She cried out again while driving, "Father, I want to see my campus change. I want to see your people being Bold. I want to be obedient."

She then heard a gentle voice, "Seek after me. Pray and seek after me."

As soon as she arrived in London, she called her friend Carrie, who also has a heart for Western, and asked to pray with her that night. Within minutes of praying and crying out to the Lord, the Faithful one who hears finally spoke. He told Carrie that they must immediate walk around campus and boldly pray for more. As they were walking out, this young girl heard from her father, "Boldly ASK! Wait and be obediently. I shall soon give you a word." And surely enough that night, he did.

As these two girls walked out, one of them saw a dead branch. Withered on the ground, she thought nothing of it until the Lord used it to give her a word later on. and that is: "the state of this campus is like this dead branch; apart from the vine, they are dead and can do nothing. But I can raise up the dead and cause them to live."

Soon enough, the Lord gave Carrie a word: "Be bold." he says "A city on a hill cannot be hidden, if you want people to know, you'll have to come out!" Being all excited, Carrie suggested that they should gathered people, all the fellowships, to worship at the Renaissance Square- an elevated platform right in the center of the campus.

Catching the burning fire, this young girl started to imagine how amazing it would be to gather his body and worship!!! As they continue to worship and sing over the campus that night, Carrie decided that Tuesday Nov. 8 would mark a beginning of something great.

So it happened.

The Lord send forth His word, and He provided faith for those who believed.

Sunday Morning. even though there were visible doubts in their hearts, the Lord did not stop in reassuring His authority and dominion on this campus. He reassured these two girls that it was not just "a thought." Sunday morning, they found out that Tues. Nov. 8, a random date they've chosen, was also Passion's intertional day of prayer-uniting all campuses all over the nation and the world to pray for this generation and their respective campuses. Not only that, Sunday night, a blog was sent to both these girls, through many different people, reassuring them that God has ordained this event since the beginning of time-that it was not just some random thing! This blog mentioned people whom, a week ago, worshiped and preached in the middle of their campus through the leading of the Holy Spirit. oh. how encourged these girls were that night. < http://jaesonma.blogspot.com/2005/10/prophetic-worship-apostolic-preaching.html>

Leading up to Tuesday, massive emails were sent out. People everywhere heard about this news. The word on the street between believes on that Monday was: "hey, renaissance square tomorrow, you coming?" It was soo cool. Monday afternoon, the young girl gathered with her, people to pray and cry out at the Renaissance Square. After much prayer and battling, all three of them were assured that the Lord was about to do something sooo great that people wouldn't believe even if they were told.

Above all, the coolest part was the event itself and stories after that. That morning, people gathered around to pray. walking around the concrete beach 7 times, claiming the place for the Lord. Each time they pray, they felt the strongholds of the devil, yet the reassurance of His victory was even greater.

As the event began, it started out to be a bit dry-people were afraid, discourged, self-concious etc. The mightly God started to speak to this group. He reassured them that His words will not return to Him empty, that He who is in their hearts is way bigger than he who is in this world. After much brokenness within the group, people finally started to worship freely. It was one of the most beautiful things she has ever seen.

People walked by, wondering what the heck was going on. Believers disperse themselves all over the concrete beach and started talking to people. Some talked for minutes, some talked for hours. There were people who were really interested, and some who just wanting a debate-but all was good!! That day, those obedient ones who came out, worshipped from 10am-2:00pm. No one in particular was leading, everyone helped out in whatever way they can. oh. the beauty of that sight. the body coming together and working together; each doing their part without any claims of anything-just one desire, to see this campus change and people being saved.

Even cooler stories: His name and renown did not stay within Renaissance Square, but disperse throughout different classrooms that day. One friend said that his classmate asked him if he knew what was going on that day at the Renaissance Square. So this obedient friend started sharing to him about Christ. Furthermore, one brother approached a guy who was standing near the Renaissance Square; without explaining, the guy said that he was not in the mood to talk about any philosophical issues. However, that very afternoon, the brother went to class and saw the same guy there. He sat next to him and the guy asked this brother if he could have his email; apparently, he has a lot of questions he wants to know about Christianity. PTL!!! Also, an obedient sister talked to this girl for an hour. They will start meeting weekly, attending church, and studying the book of John together. WOW. PTL!!!

but all in all, that day His name and renown were known amongst people who did not know Him. Also, people who knew him, their hearts were challenged that day to be ever more Bold by Standing firm for His name and Renown. That day was a beginning of something so much greater that is still yet to come.

.....PASSION TORONTO!! Here I come!!! tuesday Nov. 22. doors at 6:00 begins: 7:00. (changed time)! Don't miss it guys!!! :)

i think its time for me to update.

Lesson of the day: do you know your enemy?

I wonder if we know who our enemy is; how he works, moves, and speaks. Do you know that we are not warring against flesh, but the rulers, the powers, and the world forces of this darkness? against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places? Do you know that the enemy is working, right here, right now? do you know the things he whispers in your ears. do you see him moving amongst your classroom: in the hearts of the people who are around you. are you constantly on your guard? let alone preaching the word or going out for battle, we need to first know how he tries to bring us down. if we really know how to fight a battle, we would learn and study our enemy and know how he works. Roger said that the way the bank trains people to pick out forgeries is by allowing them to study the REAL (happy jon? geez) thing; they study it soo well that when they see a forged bill, they would know right away. Do we study the enemy so well that when we hear a word from him, we would know it right away? or are we allowing our minds to be his playground?

Then of course there is our God, our victor. Study the enemy well, better yet, study the victor--that in times when we do fall by not recognizing the enemy's scheme; we will recognizing the comforting, conquering voice of our Lord and Saviour.

Few weeks back; I was tempted by our enemy, yet like always, my God came through for me. The Spirit then graced me to write this poem, so i shall share with you all, in hopes that it will encourage you too.

The fiery darts strike once again:
to pierce my heart and to cause it to fear.
Scared of its power, don't want to be burned;
I cried out to him, to make this all end.

In the midst of my fears, the Lord is at hand.
With words of silence, my God has spoken:
"My countless promises cannot be broken;
therefore, with triumph, pick up your shield of faith, and stand!!!"

"....and having done everything, to stand firm.
....in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith, with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one" Ephesians 6:13, 16

on another note, I'm sooo excited for ACF. the Lord is truly working in the hearts of many many individuals. years of labouring are NOT in vain. soo good. guys!! WoHoo! i'm soo excited for men cell; i wish i can join, but i'm not a man, so there you go. If i were a man though, i would join men cell. aiya. i sound like gendi. hahhaha :)

oh yeah ZORRAH! you are sooo awesome. thank you for being such a great friend. you are soo cool! you know i love you soo much. i can't wait till we go to China together and serve the Lord and His people. AHHHH.. soo good! thank you for your constant encouragements!! i'm soo glad that the Lord has answered your prayers; now i know what the Lord meant by "a heart of flesh, " i always wondered until you share with me yesterday. love you soo much! muah!

okay. i should go back to emailing people. ahhhh. soo much emailing. :) but praise God, that i have friends whom i can email to. --> soo gendi again! hahahah. :) love you lots!!!

My thanksgiving weekend...

...indeed one to be thankful for.

Though there are times I rather stay in London, this weekend truly proves the reasons why i miss and loveeee home! My mommy was sooooooooooo extra nice to me. hahah. you know when your parents haven't seen you for like ages? they like glue themselves to you and give you all that you want. that was me!! :) this weekend, my mommy made me turkey. yummyyyy!! even though it was a short period of time, i do indeed treasure every moment spent with family!! okay cut out the sappiness! yeah. this coming weekend its daddy's turn to be extra nice to me. hahahha j/k

Then there are YOU GUYS!!! oh soooooo love you guys! and miss you guys soooooooooooo much!!!

Meeting up with KAT, the vainest person alive, was AMAZING. truly a WOG!!!! thanks for a wonderful time of sharing; it is so encouraging to meet up with you everytime!!! thanks for always encouraging me to go on, even through the toughest times!! The Lord has soo much prepared for you and i'm sooo excited to be able to be part of it. (you know praying.) hahahahahha.:) i got your back woman!! and please, do EAT!!!! :)

and then theres those as MCBC!!! so great to see the PNEUMIES!! oh yeah my conversation with garway on Sunday went something like this.

garway: yeah. i love her, she is sooo cool!
Cora: you love her huh? in what way?
garway: ohhh. more than one ways!

hahahhahah jokes.

and then there's tim and gendU!! and joyce!! and ricky!!! love you guys! you know it. i don't have to blog it. HOOOO. too bad i didn't get to really really really really talk to you guys. well, i did with gendi. that was cool. :) thanks for all your love!! i can feel it all the way here. hahhahaha. God has SOOO much in store for each and one of you. so glad to hear that you are going on with HIM!!! PS: how i wish that tiff would be here..:(

then theres YOU. you know who you are. even though it was hard to talk to you in the beginning, but i'm glad we talked. because we cleared up a lot of things. i love you soo much. and i realized that when it boils down to it--love shall conquer in the end--that no hurt nor disappointment can prevail. all because of HIM. i am still working on things with God, but all in all, He is good and i love you soooo much!! :)

then there are roomies and neighbors who are amazing! yeah turkey once again on monday night! thank you so much dor for such a wonderful meal. love you soo much! oh yeah. you know it! :)

even though i am at a stage where i'm waiting for the Lord to deliver me, but i know He will. :) I love Him!!! i am realizing that there is soo much in my heart that needs to be healed, and He will come and deliver me! :) but at the same time, i realize that there are little steps of obedience i need to take! so my prayer is that i will be obedient!

....so all in all. tis a wonderful, thankful, and amazing WEEKEND!!! all because of HIM!!!

.........................and all of youS!!!

Love. something that is hard to grasp. even more so, something that is hard to do.

O Beloved of my Soul,
This do I desire:
Faith for the impossible,
Love that will not tire.
Jesus, Saviour, Lover, give me
Love for the unlovable,
Love that will not tire.

O Beloved of my Soul,
Yet again I come;
Give me cords of Love to draw
Many wanderers home.
Jesus, Savious, Lover, give me
Love that knows no stain nor flaw-
Love to lead them home.
-Amy Carmichael.

"For I am confident ,of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart..." Phil 1:6-7

Have you ever fervently prayed for someone that resulted in utter disappointment? Does it sometimes seem like its hard to love? Does it seem like your prayers are not been heard? be reminded that "Love will perfect that which it begins. It will not forsake the work of its own hands." -carmichael.

Lord, my prayer is that you will remind me of this everyday. Teach me to love and not grow tired. Teach me to love that knows no hurt nor disappointment. For YOU, O Lord, has burdened my heart for a purpose. O Love of God, cause my heart to say: "His love in me, will not forsake the work of my master's hands."

Sometimes i wonder why i feel this way. I kept asking Him to take it away, yet i just can't help but feel this way. Maybe the problem with me is that i'm too attached, too sentimental... Maybe If i weren't this way, I wouldn't be feeling hurt and utter disappointment right now. In the back of my head, i kept repeating to myself: dead people won't feel the hurt or if i love to be loved, then i know nothing of Calvary's love. I hate it, it just hurts...

...yet maybe i shouldn't be feeling this way. I don't want to feel this way, yet I do. but why? am I selfish then? maybe i'm just too self-centered. urg. sick!

...

lesson of the day:

don't expect much from people, in fact, don't expect anything at all...

...because...

...well, you can fill in the blanks yourself.

i thought...

...but i thought wrong.

..sigh...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! i can't even begin to explain the joy that is in my heart!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!! for He is good!!! it was sooo crazy last night; the Lord totally moved!!!!

...kat reminded us (tim and I) yesterady that "today is the day of salvation..." and PTL!!!! because it surely was!!!!! thank you everyone who has been praying!!!!

.....HO!!!!

..........HEY!!!!!!......

....full of just JOY.. during the whole car ride back last night, I was screaming in my car singing: "The enemy has been defeated, death couldn't hold you down, we're gonna lift our voice in victory, we're gonna make our praises loud!!" and then i thought: 'salvation is here, salvation is here and LIVES within!!!" HO Satan, you lose!! HO! Loser!

there is a joy joy joy joy down in my heart. where? down in my heart. where? down in my heart....

"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for i have found my sheep which was lost!!' I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance." Luke 15:4-7

...and right now, our Father has found his lost sheep.. PTL!!! and what is our Father doing? REJOICING. along with all the other angels in heaven for his son who has come home!!! Praise be to HIM forever and ever!! AMEN!

i really am going to miss these guys. one of them has already left us. WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! i never thought that it'll be soo hard to leave toronto.... but this summer, the Lord has really put amazing people in my life and has shown me amazing revelations of things to come.... hmmmm... so torn!!!

so. what to blog about? ........... G O D !!!!!

....i love God. These past few weeks has been rough!!! To sum up everything that has happened with one line, it would be....God is good!!! Yesterday at a prayer meeting, the Lord really spoke to me about an intimate relationship we MUST have with Him. Many times, we talk of things we want to do, such as expanding the kingdom of God for His glory and name. Not that its not good to make an action plan, but i feel like many times we don't reallly expand his kingdom because we don't know where to draw our strength from, or i dare say: without the former, it is impossible to please or to do anything for God. Therefore no action plan could ever work without our intimate relationship with our Lord. Its really easy to write a good sermon, or to plan a good program, but if they are not a mere manifestation of who we are or our intimate relationship with God himself during our quiet times, then i'm sorry to say, they are all for nothing.

....so don't fool ourselves.... its no good.

..... what got me thinking all of this? it was when a friend said to me yesterday: "Cora hears, we need her!" I think its cool and encouraging to hear that, but at the same time, i thought, " shouldn't we all hear? wouldn't it be great if we all do?" Intimate relationship. The Lord desires to speak to ALL of us!

....so i shall leave you all this verse:

...that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with al the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen -Ephesians 3:16-21

... that we may know the Love of Christ through an intimate relationship with Him.....DAILY!!!
...that we will be STRENGTHENED with POWER when we are rooted and grounded in LOVE
....and then what? that we may be able to COMPREHEND with ALL the saints........ His LOVE that surpasses ALL knowledge
....and what? we may be filled up to the FULLNESS of God. wow!
....and i don't think its a coincidence that the next verse comes in right after. because after being filled and grounded in His love, finally the Lord is able to in US, far MORE abundantly beyond all that we ask or think!!!! ...wow. indeed. to Him be the glory!!!

....so how do we expand the kingdom of God? Maybe the first question should be, how can the Lord expand our own hearts?

Its not that she wanted it in the first place, so why does the absence of it leaves her with this nostalgic tugging in her heart? In her mind, she repeats to herself: "you give and take away..." Yet, the questions still lingers on: "if i didn't ask for it in the first place, why did you place it in my life only to have it be taken away?"

..... then the bigger question remains: what about the things i'm praying for in faith...? are they given as well only to be taken away....?

...Lord, in this hour of confusion, may you provide comfort, peace, and the assurance of your love.

me and sonja! love that girl!

i love this picture of mel!

jazz festival in montreal!

our last day..:(

group pic!

we made those hats!

me, sonja, shags!

jazz festival at montreal!!!

nice view!! we bought those swords from the dollar store! greatest investment EVER!!!

girl power!

we were trying to do something here...

vicky, mel, me

weee....

trip to ottawa!! sorry it took me soo long to post them up!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARYN!!!!! you are God's gift to me... thank you for just being YOU!! love you lots. keep me UPDATED!!!!! (oh yeah, you know what i'm talking about)

All she ever wanted was to serve Her God, to speak of His name in places where the gospel has not been preached. Throughout the last year, all that she can ever think about was China: deep in her heart she knew that the Lord has filled her mind with this nation for the purpose of prayer--so that she can devote all of herself to pray for those whom He loves.

As the summer was approaching, she started imagining herself being in that glorious land where her heart belongs: speaking a new language, meeting new people, and most importantly spreading the word to those who have never heard. Her heart pounded as she started to plan her summer, and then it happened-- with a gentle voice, her Father, who knows of all things, commanded this girl to stay in Toronto and wait. "Be obedient here, " He said, " then I shall send you back."

Her voice spoke with hesistant, "Here? in Toronto? Are you sure Lord? But..my heart belongs to China. Yet, your will be done..."

...and it was. Although being confused, even doubtful, of her God's victorious plan, she finally decided that her heart must obey and wait. Within only weeks of being in Toronto, this girl started to see Her Saviour's hand moving amongst her softball team and church. Even more so, little did she know that her God was preparing her for something much greater...

One ordinary night, this young girl came home from a weekly softball prayer meeting. Being all tired, she threw herself on the bed, thinking that she'll get a good night sleep, and maybe even a peaceful dream (bahamas, relaxing at a beach)... Yet instead of sleeping, she found herself tossing and turning. (Through past experiences, she knew that whenever this happens, her Daddy usually wants to tell her something...) so without hesistant, she started praying. It was at that moment that her God started revealing to her people who are hurting, people who need prayers. Being moved by the spirit, this young girl started to pray and cry out to her God for them. Each and everyone, some by name, some whom she doesn't know, even some whom she may never see again... one by one, she lifted them up to the One who hears. In the midst of cyring out to her God, she heard a gentle voice: one that is full of love, full of mercy, it said:

"A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Light shall shine out of darkness. The army in Canada is rising up. The army in Canada is rising up..."

Recognizing right away that it was He, she replied: "Oh Lord, I want to be part of this army.."

"You must draw in more people. Those who have ears will hear. Those who do not, they shall be left behind.. It is time."

Very shortly after, she heard another voice. This time, not so gentle, nor so loving. With a loud and angry shout, he said: "You cannot take my people from me and destroy the work that I've done." Then he started reminding this young girl of all that she has been doing: the prayers that were lifted up to her Father, the people she has been talking to, the dreams and visions she wanted to see in this nation... Finally, with a loud shout, again he said: "I'm not going to allow you...."

Having a clear mind of what was happening and the full assurance of the victory she has in Him who is greater, this young girl said to her enemy: "I shall do whatever to claim back what belongs to my God, no matter what it takes...it shall be done."

The very next day, her God provided people around her to pray. They gathered around, each crying out to the same God--their hearts yearning for the same desire: to see change in Canada--toronto. Together they cried out: "We want to see your kingdom come and your will be done in this nation."

Her heart was moved and in awe of what her God is doing in this land. She went home that day feeling excited of what is to come. She thought to herself, "more people will I gather, to fight, to press on, and to claim back our land."

"Where have she read this before?" she thought to herself, "It all seemed so familiar." It was then that she opened up the Book. It was not a mere coincidence that this young girl decided to randomly pick a chapter to read from the bible. Somehow, her hands rapidly turned to that specific page: this innocent page was the one the Lord has chosen to speak to this young girl with. She started reading chapter six in the book of Joshua. Within minutes of reading, the Lord started again to stir up her heart...

It dawned upon her: the trumpet has sounded. this is war and we shall win. Like the Israelites, the Lord shall give us the land which He has promised: the land flowing with milk and honey.
"I ask for the nation."
"The nation shall be given to you."
"At the seventh time, when the priests blew the trumpets, Joshua said to the people, 'Shout! For the Lord has given you the city.'"
"Arise! Take all the people of war with you and arise..."
"the son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil...."

....and claim back his people, his city, and his land....

................are you ready to fight? As kat had said, "let's move..."

As she pondered of all the things that have happened this summer: the amazing people she met who have such a desire for toronto, the things that are going on in her church and on her team. Then she thought about all that the Lord has shown her, she felt, for the first time, so privileged to be part of the Master's plan, here in Toronto.

this is a picture of us trying to imitate CHOW'S famous hand thingy he does whenever he tries to explain something... HAHAHAHA.. those were the days...HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHOW!!! WE WILL SEE YOU REAL SOON!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I LOVE YOU SONJA!!! I MISS YOU. Sorry that I couldn't make it to London this weekend. Remember this time last year, we were all celebrating your birthday at Hebei university..:)

This weekend was...WOW.


-Amazing prayer, sharing time on Friday. I love you guys. *sniff sniff*
-Sat. Night was....... WOW. I'm in AWE of His presence. How much He loves His people. I can't even begin to describe the night: all I can say is that I saw a glimspe of how heaven would be like..:)
-Sunday: Made me realize how sensitive I should be to those around me. Much prayer is needed.
-Sunday afternoon: great softball game. I love my team.

all in all, Thank you for our God: To Him be the glory, forever and ever, AMEN!!!

WORK IS A JOKE!!!

I have been working at this telemarketing place for the last three weeks, and all i can say is that its boring, tedious, and boring!! But its good to have a few friends to join me in this life of boredom, on top of that, there is only a few days until this all ends... FINALLY!!!

So I was talking to this lady today and the conversation went something like this:

"Hello, my name is Cora calling on behalf of MOH. Can i speak with the individual who is responsible for setting up a Flu immunization program within your organization?" (mind you I was looking at other stuff online because I can memorize the full script by now)

"umm...we didn't have one"

"Why, what was the reason"

"Because all my employees are Indians and I just don't think they like shots."

*thought to myself* What does that gotta do with anything? you RACIST!!

*trying so hard not to laugh..* "ohhh.. icic" huh??


This other conversation went something like this:

I was talking to i believe an Indian man,

"So how many employees were vaccinated?"

"umm..ok"

"no sir, how many employees were vaccinated?"

"yup..yes"

"umm..i sorta need a number"

"oh. 45"

"ok. what do you think we could do to improve the program.."

"um.........um......um.....yeah...ok"

"sorry sir?"

"ummm....yes"

"No sir, its an open ended question.."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

and then this chinese guy hung up on me...

he was like:

"aiya..mah fan." heheh..j/k. but he did hang up on me..:(

2 more days....
let the countdown begin.....

A Heartcry for China

A long long time ago, in a far away land called China, Hudson Taylor began his work of ministry in spreading the word to the Chinese. At the beginning of his work, he led a young man to Christ, Brother Ni. After the truth was unveiled in this young man's heart, Brother Ni asked Hudson Taylor this question: "'How long have your people in Europe known about Jesus and His way of salvation?'
Taylor answered that the gospel had been available to a greater or lesser extent in Europe for hundreds of years. 'If that is so,' replied Brother Ni, 'why did my father in China have to search for the truth for twenty years -- and die without ever finding it?'"

This burden is still heavily laid upon my heart. There are still so many unreached people; people who have never ever heard of the gospel. Nations and tribes that are in need of someone to bring the truth to them. How can we, knowing this fact, not doing anything about it? Oh Lord, my cry is that you'll send me to unreached places, unreached people, so that your gospel may be known to those who have not heard.

The Lord has been teaching me a lot about prayer. I've been yearning to go back, but the Lord spoke to me yesterday, and said so clearly to me that I need to labour in prayer for China: His land and His people. That I need to educate myself with information about China so that I could pray even more. Oh Lord, my cry now is that you'll discipline me to pray for your people and instill in me, oh the more, a love that never grows weary, a love that would never give up.

I can't even begin to explain my weekend. At Campus Challenge, I was totally challenged. haha. As Carrie would say, "I smell cheese." But this weekend indeed was AMAZING. I'm so blown away by how BIG our God is. How wonderfully He works in different campuses spread out amongst Ontario. He is sooo much Bigger than the God of Western or ACF; He works sooo abundantly at THE SAME TIME among all the other campuses. That--is AMAZING!!!

I really didn't want to be there this weekend. I was like, "oh. its going to be like another TC." But it soo was not. the Lord was sooooooo gOOD. He truly proved me wrong this weekend. Not just about CC but a lot of things about myself as well.

...Break me o Lord so that you can use me.

MonKEyS!!

this girl is absolutely CRAZY! i love her though, she is sooo cool.

Western Peeps!

MCBC!!!!!

Is this how it is?
Is this how its going to be?
Upon this rock where it is built,
darkness reigns and angels laid still.
Serving the public and pleasing the crowd,
while the truth remains a muddle--
glossed with sugar so that everyone can cuddle,
in their comfortable, fancy, yancy, merry land
so that they can remind blinded, as long as they still have their fans.

Is this how it is?
Is this how its going to be?
I ran to the "meditation room"
so that I can lift my worries up to Him,
who seems to be forgotten by many.
I came to the door, only to find it shut,
"and 'thou shalt not' writ over it."
Sadly, I walked away, realizing that they tore down the "meditation room"
so that we can have another closet for our brooms.

Is this how it is?
Is this how its going to be?
Oh Lord, come and heal our land.

I have to admit it; I don't know what to do...

It is always so hard being back home. As much as I am excited to be here, I can't help but feel a bit "off" and out of place. Perhaps being jobless plays a role in this, but lately, I been feeling confused as to why I am place here this summer. I've been dreaming about China again-yearning to go back and re-live that life of faith. I knew, last year, exactly that I was called to China, and from there, the Lord blessed me with soo much. Now, i can't help but wonder why I am here? Am I even supposed to be here? Can i even do it?
Bottom line, I think i'm just afraid. I don't know what to do exactly. I feel inadequate. How can I evangelize to these people? Would I even know what to say? I don't even really know these people? I don't want to just sit at a typical meeting, trying to think our brains out to figure out a "theme." I really don't know what to do... I don't think i'm adequately prepared for this... I don't want to do it and make it "good." I want it to be the best... How do I give back? Where do I begin?
.... All I need to know is the peace of the Lord. Because all shall be well when I know that I'm walking in the right path. No fears of inadequacy can stand in the way when the peace of the Lord is known in one's heart...
...that is what I need now!!!...

i have an exam tomorrow. and sat. i'm not ready for my tomorrow exam, and i haven't started my sat. one. ahhh.

i know how it feels to be forgotten, so before i forget, i want to say,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERICA-CA-CA!!!!

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH GUYS!!!

-my parents didn't even remember to call me, but i thank God for friends like you. To be honest, just a simple act of remembering this day means a lot to me.

to all the YouS...
thank you for remembering (even when i tried to hide it from you),
thank you for the cake at P and R,
thank you for the dairy queen cake,
thank you for the CD,
thank you for getting everyone to come out to prayer meeting, (knowing that that will brighten up my day)
thank you for the emails or msn msgs,
thank you for a night out to maggies,
thank you for the 'surprise' party,
thank you for the custom made t-shirt (pulling a cora since 1984),
thank you for the thoughtfulness...I LOVE MY NEW ROOM.
most importantly, thank you for just being there.

all in all, you've all made this special day..well. extra special, more than i could ask for.

i will post up more picture later on.

during our weekly prayer meetings today, we decided that it would be funny to randomly compose a poem about our dear brother Yun-Ping. (whose name, by the way, is also Alex).

Alex by day, Yun-Ping by night,
To the ball court he fights.
Will he take flight? O that might!
Do what is right, Yun-Ping by night.

this is what we do during our prayer meetings. see, i told you acfers; prayer meetings are nothing but fun.

i can finally breathe... well, at least for two days until i start studying for my exams.

let me tell you about my roomate, Doreen.

She is soo 'mong' (clueless) about everything.

One ordinary day, about 6 months ago, i was desperately looking for my pair for running shoes so that i could go to the gym. Realizing that i couldn't find them after 3 weeks later, i came to a conclusion that i must have left it at home or i could have just misplaced them somewhere.
However, 2 weeks ago, one very odd thing happened. i saw my pair of running shoes suddenly appearing on the lovely feet of my roomate, doreen.

i cried out a loud cry, "Doreen, you stole my shoes!"

She calmly and confidently replied, "No they're not! i stole them from my friend sharon."

"Well, they sure look like mine," said I, "even the scratch marks and the pain causing ankle part are there!"

Doreen said, "that is true; they never used to hurt my ankle. what size are your feet?"

I calmly replied, "7 or 71/2! yours?"

"Well, they couldn't possibly be your then, because my feet are 61/2."

Starting to doubt myself, I went up to check the size of MY shoes. "They are 71/2, Dor!"

"oh. they must be yours then."

"well. you better confirm"

One day later, doreen came to me with a bleeding ankle and said, "they are definitely yours! they seem to be a bit too big as well."

Anyhow, to sum this story up in a nutshell. I went up to doreen, nicely asking her to make sure that they are her friend. A week later, she came back with her friend's shoes which look nothing like mine! (yes dor, they don't look like mine). Nonetheless, she managed to mistaken them for mine. what a silly little girl. haha.

the Lord is slowly preparing me to go back; i just know it. i can't wait... the harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few... so here I am Lord. here I am!

The biggest enemy is yourself; it only hurts when you try to hold on to it.

When satan tempts me to despair,
and tells me of the guilt within
upward i look and see Him there
who made an end to all my sin
because the sinless saviour die
my sinful soul is counted free
for God the just is satisfied
to look on Him and pardon me
to look on Him and pardon me

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

so...
in the midst of writing my essay, i have decided to....blog!

having being reminded of the freedom i have in Christ, I am full of joy right now because of who I AM in Him: a new creation that is created anew! (I just have to make it repetitive) I am amazed of How good and how great our God is. He gives us grace in our hearts to be able to praise Him and worship Him even in times of troubles or sorrows. This weekend, having experienced failure and disappointed in my life, the Lord has definitely given me grace to thank Him, to love Him, and to worship Him freely. oh, and how liberating it is. God is indeed soooooooo gooood!!!

on another note, i have been realizing how much of a spiritual battle we are in. When the Lord moves, Satan is right there moving, to pull down from receiving His blessings. but! its a good thing that satan is moving because that means that God is moving!!! SO, i encourage you all, when times of discouragement, hardships, sorrows, sickness, etc.. take a step back and see what Satan is doing in your life to pull you down. When you do, realize that all you need to do is kick satan in the head and tell him to back off, for He who is in our heart is soooo much greater than he who is in this world.

"..for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raise dup against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ..."
-2 Cor. 10: 4-5

you know why it says we are? because we have to do it, willingly and actively do it. so DO IT. and then you will realize even MORE: how great our God is and the blessings He is pouring down upon you....

these various posts were written during my first year in university. oh, how great to be reminded again and again that it is finished!!! we are indeed daughters and sons!! because we are freed of alllllll things.
"when the son shall set you free, you SHALL be free INDEED!!!"

April 15, 2003
-did you know that we are no longer slaves, but daughers and sons.....do you know that slaves do not have the same privileges as sons and daughters. sons and daughters can inherit what the Father owns. And we are sons and daughters, we are heirs, so that we may recieve the full rights of sons. The full rights of sons...we have the right to claim what the Lord has already given to us in Christ...which is everything that the Lord has and is. isn't that just so cool. We can call our Lord our Father. Our Father...yeah!-This freedom is spreading, the good news is spreading among ACFers and i know that this is what God wants...i mean, if you were there in the library today, you will know what i'm talking about....it's like 4 different groups of people talking about the same thing. and then suddenly you hear, "ohh..i think i know", or "i wanna know more..." God is so good.-i'm full of this unspeakable joy right now......and my only respond is "Praise God...Hallelujiah...!!! I love you Lord!!!"

April 19, 2003
"...We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life..." ~Romans 6:4

When Christ resurrected, we were in Him. We need not try to get in Christ, for we are already in Him. Praise God because we are a new creation!!!..i know i talk about this a lot, but i feel like i should mention it again!!...we are a new creation!!! The nature of God does things that are of God and the nature of Adam does things that are of Adam. but, we have a new creation!!! It is our new nature that do things of God..not by our effort, but because when Christ resurrected, we were there too, we were in Him!!! isn't that cool??...and that is what we must focus on. Not our past, or our "sins"...or in fear that we will sin again because of our "human nature"....i agree that in our "human nature" which is of our old self, we were inclined to sin!!!...but we are a new creation, we died to our old self!!!!....the old has pass and the new has come.....so let us reckon that we are a new creation, therefore it is our nature to do things that are of the Spirit!!!!....this is why Jesus resurrected, so that we may live as a new creation with the Spirit of God that is living in us!!! Praise the Lord!!!

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish" ~Eph. 5:25-27. Watchman Nee said that this is what God intends for His children, His church to be..."a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but...holy and without blemish." Watchman Nee said in his book exactly this:"... And yet how precious is the promise and how gracious are the words used of her (the church): "not having spot"-the scars of sin, whose very history is now forgotten; "or wrinkle"-the marks of age and of time lost, for all is now made up and all is new; and "without blemish"-so that Satan or demons or men can find no ground for blame in her." And this is us!!!!!This is why Christ died for us and rose again: so that as He is in glory, that we too may appear in glory with Him as well!!! Praise the Lord, Hallelujiah...!!! AHHHH!!!!

Happy 21st birthday Lydia!!!!!!!!

I don't know if you'll read this Lydia, but i want to wish you a happy birthday on this special day. Sorry i couldn't make it tonight; my daddy is home and I need to spend time with him. I thank the Lord for you everytime I am reminded of you. You bring joy to my heart, and on this special day; I pray that you are assure of His love for you. :)

AHHHHH...why do bad things happen to good people????

oh NHL Hockey,
Why do you have to leave me?
Why do you have to hurt me so?
Day and night i think of you;
I know your heart remains true.
Come back my love,
my companion during my most needed times.1
From stressful nights to unbearable flights,2
I shall be waiting for you, and until then,
my heart shall remain true.

1. during exam periods in the month of April when playoffs are on.
2.again, the poet's need for hockey during unbearable nights studying for exams; these are the times that hockey acts as a distraction, thus destressing the heart of the poet.


on a more serious note. my heart is lifted, oh praise the Lord.

i am currently in the library attempting to "study."

who is bored bored?
i am bored bored.

if i were to submit that to my english prof, he would have asked where i learned my grammatical skills. so, with that said; you can almost expect that i would never submit something like that, which makes the above statement useless and well, a waste of time.

here is the awaited poem i promised you dor:

doreen is weird,
she has a beard,
sometimes if you look real close
you might catch something real gross.

on a serious note, I need to rest.

I will rest in thy love,
I will feed on thy grace
I boldly come nigh to thy throne
and worship thee Lord on my face
I've sold everything to gain thee
the riches the world gave to me
To love thee is all I desire
and shelter my new heart in thee.

i know you all have been waiting for awhile now, so here is another one of my billiant accomplishments-infact not so billiant afterall. I acutally wrote this poem last Friday when I was feeling quite discouraged about things that were happening; actually, i mean things that weren't happening. In the midst of all my negative thoughts, the Lord inspired me with these words.

Let not the discouragement of the world,
mare the goodness of thy love.
Let not the stubbornness of our hearts,
mare the assurance of thy cross:
"For Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and has shed His own blood for my soul."
Let not the darkness of this world,
mare the shinning brightness of thy light.
For when all things seem to fail,
Let the calmness of your voice prevails:
"In me is where you shall find rest,
and My presence shall never leave thee."


I get discouraged too easily. "oh stupid Cora, stop allowing your mind to be a playground for Satan! When will you ever learn?"

Wow, what a weekend! There is this unspeakable joy in me right now. I can't explain how great the Lord is. He is indeed soo faithful. I was reminded of the last retreat, things that were lifted up in prayers since then, people lifted up to the Lord, oh, and how great is He who answers prayers!!! I've have seen His wonder, His movings among people, His love pour down like an overflowing flood of water, chains being broken, people being set free, and all I can say is, I want more...

instructions taken from a "mini hand-warmer" my mom bought from HK.

Instand Hot Pack:
1. How to use:
1) break off the metal part which inside the pack serveral times. Then there is some white solid will come out & the pack becomes heater and heater. It will be better if you knead it some more times.
2.) When the pack becomes cold. Please put into the boiling water for 5-10 mins. Then it will change into liquid condition. And becomes soft. After it becomes cold. It can be used again.
3.) When you use the bag again, Please follow the above instruction.
4.) the instant hot pack can be repeat-used.
5.)Please pay attention to the high temperature when use this bag. If you get scald please call to the doctor.

2.) When to use:
1.) Snowing, hunting, climbing etc. out door use.
2.) on the way to or back from your school/office
3.) keep health keep warm when in winter.

3.) Caution:
1.) the inside material is non-toxic and non-poison, but eating is forbidden.
2.) If the pack is leaking or damanged, please stop use and throw it away.
3.) If the liquid comes to the skin. Please use a lot of water to wash it.
4.) Children must be under the supervision of the adult.

haha....

i can't believe it. its only been four days, and i am stressed out by the things i have to accomplish. I am drained. i've been spending 12 hours a day at school, attending classes and researching for a essay proposal that is due next week. My teacher wants specific things, which makes it even harder to find. I am sooo drained by all the crap i have to read. Also, i found out about the heavy load for my weekly class: 13 classes in total: 8 books to read and like 4 movies to watch, meaning a novel a week must be read by the beginning of every class. isn't that insane? alfjda;kfjkdfja;dkfja. ~translation: asdl;fkja;ldskjfa;djfak;dfj. on top of that, its a busy month for ACF planning as well. ahhhhh....

oh yeah, sonja and I will be sharing about china this friday night, so if anyone wants to hear about it *ahem* (people from toronto, queens, mcmaster...), please do come...:)

Coming back from my mission trip this summer, I knew that there would be many changes this year in my life. Awaiting for these changes to come, I know that the Lord requires all of me, the me that is willing to give up the past, leaving my comfort zone and accepting the changes coming my way. However, when these changes have finally arrived, part of me resisted, in fear of letting go. Stepping into new territory, seeing the things around me change, looking into familiar faces and simultaneously feeling alienated from them, I, the outgoing girl can't help but feel a bit afraid. Very much afraid infact. How could the things that are once familiar to you become so barbaric, different, distant... If things that were once known to me can change in split of a second, turning into strange objects that is foreign to me, I can't help but wonder, what would happen to the things and people that are so dear to me now?

Its true, and i just can't hide it.

what flavor pocky are you?

i downloaded hello picasa so that i can upload pictures to my blog, but its not working...
can someone please teach me?

karyn, me, jesse

There are those whom the Lord puts in your life,
friendships centered in Jesus Christ.
I love you, my friends, because
of your heart, your care, your love
and your constant encouragements.
It is such a privilege to be able to meet you,
who shares my Spirit, my joy, my passion, my life.

My only prayer for you is this:
Never give up in loving, never lose sight of what is happening,
but love, the way you have loved me, and give to those whom you are called to.
Be encouraged today, for He is good, and His love endures forever.
Don't let him, the enemy, blow out your flame,
Keep on going, and take heed of the truth that HAS set you free,
and love, the way you have have loved me.

ran·dom ( P ) Pronunciation Key
(rndm)adj.

• Having no specific pattern, purpose, or objective: random movements.

hmm..random? me? what do you think?

My conversation with Shaggy on msn.
(the past is the past...is me, and shahrukh is, well, shahrukh!) and don't ask about my name, the past is the past, lets leave it there...ok? geez.... heheh

the past is the past. lets leave it there! haha! says:
did you get rebecca's laptop?
Shahrukh - ....dnt knw where im going, jst knw i gotta keep on goin says:
i fixed it, also fixed chos comp..
the past is the past. lets leave it there! haha! says:
oh really
the past is the past. lets leave it there! haha! says:
what was the problem?
Shahrukh - ....dnt knw where im going, jst knw i gotta keep on goin says:
her router wasnt giving her an ip, and chos comp was filled with too mch crap
the past is the past. lets leave it there! haha! says:
ohhhh icic....
*cora is nodding in confusion* she thinks to herself, "I know nothing about computers!!" Yet, refuse to feel embarrassed in front of Shaggy, and hoping that he'll never suspect a thing, she says: "ohh..icic, good thing it wasn't that big of a deal.."
then she thought to herself again, "it wasn't, right? hmmm..."
Shahrukh - ....dnt knw where im going, jst knw i gotta keep on goin says:
hahhaha, ure the cutest...
Shahrukh - ....dnt knw where im going, jst knw i gotta keep on goin says:
best reply ever
the past is the past. lets leave it there! haha! says:
i should put that on my bog...our conversation..hahah. it'll be funny
Shahrukh - ....dnt knw where im going, jst knw i gotta keep on goin says:
doo it...
the past is the past. lets leave it there! haha! says:
i will..

...and so i did. I thought it was funny, yeah...so don't judge! Its cultural!! Hey, that should be my msn name...
this is what happens to you as a result of lack of sleep and lack of food in your system....

In the midst of emailing my brother, I was inspired to write a poem...again! sorry for all my readers who have to deal with these "spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings" (Wordsworth).

stress,
you thought you got me,
and I thought that I'll be,
but you have no control over me.
because He has set me free
so begone! For I am guaranteed
that He shall continue to deliver me.

stress free!!!

all by the grace of God! Thank you Lord!

essays,
I can't think of you without dismay.
why do you leave me to decay?
as I look into the screen,
confused, I waste away.
I sigh and say:
essays,
keep away,
and make way as I
fade away...

joy of being an English student.

As all the excitement surrounds me, I wonder: "Why don't I get one? Am I not cared for?" I tried comforting myself by saying: "I don't need one, I don't need to be cared for." or "maybe they forgot, its not their fault." Yet, i remain unsatisfied with my reply, something in my heart still yearns for their love, to be cared for. However, I shall retain myself and say nothing more.

Lord, if i love to be loved,
then i know nothing of Calvary love.

Flame Of God

From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee,
From fearing when I should aspire,
From faltering when I should climb higher
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.
From subtle love of softening things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
(Not thus are spirits fortified,
Not this way went the Crucified)
From all that dims Thy Calvary
O Lamb of God, deliver me.
Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire;
Let me not sink to be a clod;
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.

~Amy Wilson Carmichael

By faith, I shall go on
because by His blood,
I am made anew.
I have entered the land, now I shall claim more.
For not yet am I satisfied,
and not yet will I compromise.
For greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.
He shall sustain me, and by his blood,
i will persevere. And behold,
my brethrens, my joy and crown,
He who is faithful shall bring everything to pass.
Let us go on therefore, in standing firm by faith
and in fighting the good fight, claim the things which
are ALREADY given to us. By faith, WE shall go on.
For His promises shall never fail, all shall come to pass.

yeah! now you can leave me a comment without loging into blogger! it is sooo convenient..*hint* hint*

anyhow, i'm hungry! someone feed me please!!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

"A nerd indeed," says Sam.

a nerd as me
is inspired by Sidney.
so i shall quote
what he wrote,
and hope that it'll provoke
your excitement to read his poems.
As you read, I shall hope
that they'll do what they did to me:
strike where it hurts and hit home.

"Poetic images should have the power to strike, pierce, and possess the sight of the soul." ~Sir Philip Sidney. (edited by me)

Women Cell was good, I hope the Coffeehouse went well...*sigh*

I am stimulated by Garway's comment, so i decided to blog! Hiatus...ENDS!!!

So as some of may know, this year I have decided to be more involved at school. Why? Simply because i want to get to know more people. Part of being the new "me" means i need to step out and explore. I do have a heavy load this year, and plus being on the exec for ACF and Women Cell do not help lessen my heavy load. At first I thought i would join the newspaper screw since the opportunity came up, yet knowing my ability to write, i decided to wait till next year. Plus, it was not part of my plan anyways! Then i thought, i'll join the Globe: a club where i get to know more about the world around me, but everything started piling up so i decided against it. So i comforted myself by thinking that i would for sure join Get Lit (an English Club), which was something that I wanted to do since the beginning of the year. Even though my heart wants to explore and join more clubs, i know that it'll be best for me to devote myself to one club, Get Lit.
so what happens?

Well, Get Lit has been planning to have a coffeehouse since the end of September and i've been looking forward to it ever since. I was talking to Noah (one of my classmates) about it just tonight about the coffeehouse too. I was really looking forward to it: to meet new people, to do what the Lord has called me to do this year. but...

One ordinary day, Cora decides to check her email and finds out that Get Lit is having the coffeehouse on a Wednesday night, the same night that is scheduled for Women Cell. Joy! Lord, What do you want me to do?

I know, I am such a nerd..
but this is such a beautiful poem.
His name is George Herbert, and he is an AMAZING poet...this is the last poem he wrote before he died.

Love

Love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lacked anthing.

"A guest," I answered, "worthy to be here":
Love said, "You shall be he."
"I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,
I cannot look on thee."
Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,
"Who made the eyes but I?"

"Truth, Lord; but I have marred them; let my shame
Go where it doth deserve."
"And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?"
"My dear, then I will serve."
"You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat."
So I did sit and eat.

isn't it beautiful? wow!!! I hope i can write like that someday.
Yeah!! home for thanksgiving!!! I hope everyone will have a great week.....

yeah!! please leave me a comment..:)

hello...

i'm tired. need to go to sleep. women cell tonight...yeah!!!

I am ready, to start anew.
"Where will you begin?" you may well ask.
"I have no idea," I shall well answer, yet
this is where it shall begin-my heart,
a heart that is ready to be changed...
this, my Lord, is where you shall start...

this blog is up and running again!!!

so why the sudden urge to blog again? to be honest, i have no idea. I just feel like i need to practice my writing skills before writing for my school paper. so if any of you want to correct my writing or give me suggestions of what to write about, feel free to do so, i give you full permission. Please be nice though, thats all i ask.

have you ever wonder about life? life outside of North America? Life beyond what we are use to? after sleepless nights and long hours of reflection, i've come to realize that there is sooo much more to life than what i've known or could ever image. I've decided, and come to a realization that I know Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! i mean, there is soo much in this world, so much to explore, so many things to see. I've been living in this sheltered "bubble" of mine-one that i feel perfectly comfortable to stay in, which is why I needed to get out. I am well aware that the seperation from this "bubble" will result in a new-self, a new me. yet, I want to break from it desperately!!! i'm scared! i'm confused! i'm lost!

My jesus, I love thee, I know thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign,
MY gracious redeemer, My Saviour art Thou;
If ever I love Thee, My Jesus 'tis now.

Hallelujah!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!

....maybe its time for me to start blogging again....hmm...maybe!..we'll see!

sick...boo...bronchitis...sucks!!

blahblahblah....back in london!!!
so much to do!! new house...roomates...blahblahblah...totally different courses..but i love them!!
and God is good!!!...for sure!! praise the Lord! i'm tired....too bad, there is no such thing as sleep when you're a student....back to the books!!!

Went on a one day trip to London on Sunday to hear Roger speak. And let me tell you....it was all worth it.

"The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But it it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.
"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour?' No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!" John 12:23-26.

We must therefore "follow the Lamb wherever he goes....."

my first blog after coming back to toronto....

i'm still trying to adjust to toronto, to church, to no fellowship, to friends.....hmmm...everything seems to be different around here...different, very different. i don't know maybe it is becuz people are busy around this time, but i can't really explain what i'm feeling right now...people are different. It seems to me that my dearest friends who use to be close to me just totally lost interest of what goes on in my life! i don't know....who cares...:)
To the happier note...I had a wonderful time having lunch on thurs. with a dear friend of mine that I haven't talk to for a long long time. I had such a great time!! To be able to talk to a sister of mine and being able to witness the wonderful things that God has been doing in her life. I was amazed at the things that we are able to share with each other..i mean, considering we haven't talk to each other (like real talks) for nearly..hmm...a year and a half? How amazing is that? And it is only becuz of Christ that is in the centre of our friendship that we have so much to share about, and the eagerness to want to know more about what God has been doing in each other's lives. Wow!..3 hours of sharing and no awkward moments....cool...Thank you God for being the centre and the one who binds our friendship together...:)

A.W. Tozer=Amazing Author!!!
"The old cross is a symbol of death. It stands for the abrupt, violent end of a human being. The man in Roman times who took up his cross and started down the road had already said good-bye to his friends. He was not coming back. He was going out to have it ended. The cross made no compromise, modified nothing, spared nothing; it slew all of the man, completely and for good. It did not try to keep on good terms with its victim. It struck cruel and hard, and when it had finished its work, the man was no more. The race of Adam is under death sentence. There is no commutation and no escape. God cannot approve any of the fruits of sin, however innocent they may appear or beautiful to the eyes of men. God salvages the individual by liquidating him and then raising him again to newness of life...."
This is what the cross is about. This is what the cross is truly about..not enjoyment, it is not a "friendly pal", it will not let us keep part of Adam and things of this world.
The one that decides to follow Christ must pick up its Cross. "He must forsake his sins and then go on to forsake himself. Let him cover nothing, defend nothing, excuse nothing. Let him not seek to make terms with God..." Then..."the cross that ended the earthly life of Jesus puts an end to the sinner; and the power that raised Christ from the dead raises him (us) to a new life along with Christ." Dare we preach anything but the truth of the cross.

We Lost!!!!!....now i'm gonna cheer for the senators!!!!

-i'm in the library right now, and sonja is beside me updating her page at the same time...haha, so much for studying again. studying=zero..again!!!!
-let me tell you all something about this girl who is sitting beside me, Sonja.
-she is amazing
-she's got this huge smile on her face at all times. (Seriously, sonja=big smile...you can't seperate the two.)
-she loves God all the time and have such a great passion for Him.
-I could talk to her for hours and hours in the library about the most important thing that matters the most in our lives-Our Father and what He has been showing the both of us!
-see? she just turned to me and told me what she has been realizing in the Lord.
-she is really really cool!!!!....love you sonja!

-yesterday, sonja and I both failed an exam. For all the people who are going to university next year, i'll give you an advice....Calculus is evil!!!!.....don't ever take calculus if you don't hf to!!...stupid cora took the harder course!!!!...boo!!
-anyways..i only hf one more exam left to do, and then i'll be going home....yeah....four whole months of good food.....how great!!!!

-God is so good...there's a lot that He is trying to show me still....i talked to karyn and we are both learning the same thing!!...maybe i'll ask roger on Sunday about it, since i'm staying here till Monday..!!!
-Roger and Pam's=great Sundays..!!!
last Sunday was another great Sunday night at Roger and Pam's. A lot of great things are happening in ACF..and i'm so excited!!...i had a chance to get to know Roger more and talked to him one on one, and that was really really cool!! He is not as scary as we think he is, it's all just the look....deep inside, he is this really cool (sometimes funny) guy!!!...hheheheh..:).
Also, i had a chance to finally talk to Gloria, and she is such a sweet girl. There is so much about this girl that is so amazing!!! She's so cool, maybe one day i'll have a chance to share more about her.
-God is so good to all of us!!!
-anyways, that's it for me now....back to the books..!!

We Won!!!!!!
-such a good game....but we are cutting close....we really need to play a lot better than this....tonite was a good game though..!!!! some bad calls but some good ones as well!!!
haha...studying=zero!! again....and i hf an exam tomorrow

-i'm so tired right now...did a two hour exam today....that was such a bad exam....and i studied too....the exam itself was not bad...it was just toooooo long!!!!....i don't know how my prof would ever thing that anyone could ever finish that exam within two hours....craziness!
-9 hours of exam within 72 hours...and that does not count my studying time.!!!!....
-4 hours biz exam....here i come.....this one i'm gonna fail too....aiya

-pam and roger's yesterday was again really really really good....i am really gonna miss Sunday nights....:(....I really wanna share with everyone about what happened yesterday....but i will some other time.....for now....cora needs to get some sleep so she can write a 4 hours exam tomorrow and after, spend the whole night and the whole day on wednesday to prepare for her calc exam.....!!!!! craziness!!!!....exams are no fun at all!!!!

a post taken from Apr 19 2003

"...We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life..." ~Romans 6:4

When Christ resurrected, we were in Him. We need not try to get in Christ, for we are already in Him. Praise God because we are a new creation!!!..i know i talk about this a lot, but i feel like i should mention it again!!...we are a new creation!!! The nature of God does things that are of God and the nature of Adam does things that are of Adam. but, we have a new creation!!! It is our new nature that do things of God..not by our effort, but because when Christ resurrected, we were there too, we were in Him!!! isn't that cool??...and that is what we must focus on. Not our past, or our "sins"...or in fear that we will sin again because of our "human nature"....i agree that in our "human nature" which is of our old self, we were inclined to sin!!!...but we are a new creation, we died to our old self!!!!....the old has pass and the new has come.....so let us reckon that we are a new creation, therefore it is our nature to do things that are of the Spirit!!!!....this is why Jesus resurrected, so that we may live as a new creation with the Spirit of God that is living in us!!! Praise the Lord!!!

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish" ~Eph. 5:25-27. Watchman Nee said that this is what God intends for His children, His church to be..."a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but...holy and without blemish." Watchman Nee said in his book exactly this:
"... And yet how precious is the promise and how gracious are the words used of her (the church): "not having spot"-the scars of sin, whose very history is now forgotten; "or wrinkle"-the marks of age and of time lost, for all is now made up and all is new; and "without blemish"-so that Satan or demons or men can find no ground for blame in her." And this is us!!!!!
This is why Christ died for us and rose again: so that as He is in glory, that we too may appear in glory with Him as well!!! Praise the Lord, Hallelujiah...!!! AHHHH!!!!

another thing.....please go to my friend, sonja's, site and read her testimony!!!

To sonja: Yes..i agree!!!...and i totally rejoice with you!!!..i am so happy that you know..!!!! AHHHH!!!...:)

in the old testament, no one was permitted to enter the Holy of Holies except the high priest, and that was only once a year!

but when Jesus died...
.."And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.."

What is the veil?
-it is our flesh, our sins and everything that seperates us from God.
but where is the veil now?
-And the curtain of the temple was torn in two...it's gone, it has been torn long ago!! it is finished...praise God! When Jesus died, the veil was torn!!! our old self was torn and our sins are torn. What seperates us from God? our sins....but it is TORN!!!! so that their may be no barrier in between us and God!!!..isn't that great!! Praise God!!!

knowing that, I woke up today with such great joy in my heart, i kept thinking about the veil and how it was torn when Jesus died!!! isn't that cool? "...that we may have confidence to enter the holiest by the blood of Jesus.." cool! nothing we do can torn it apart, but only by the blood of Christ, and it is done and over with!!!...yeah, we're dead!!!...but Christ is alive in us!!!....:)

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? But no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?......For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, and we should no longer be slaves to sin-because anyone who has died has been freed from sin...." ~Romans 6:3-6 did you notice that it is written in past tense? we died...was crucified....who has died....:) IT IS FINISHED!!!

-anyways...stay tune, cuz i wanna talk about His resurrection too, the part of the Gospel where we should focus on more!!!

Good Friday
-joy, joy, and even more joy!!!

this is what my friend tiff wrote to me:

hey cora...it was sunny and warm at the beginning of the week...then it started to get cloudy...then it rained wednesday and yesterday...i thought of you and how you told me that for the past few Good Fridays it has rained...i'm thinking it just might rain again today....so cool. =0)

"It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two."

...and guess what? it's dark and gloomy outside and it's raining....weird!!!....today is Good Friday, my aspects of Good Friday have totally changed ever since i learnd about the reason the Lord has died for us. Hey, if you guys who are out there who think that they have to be sad and gloomy today like what i thought i had to feel like before...don't!!!..because that's not what it is about!!! Jesus' death should be our joy knowing that He has also resurrected!! And knowing that He died to give us Life!!!! And plus, His death didn't last that long....He rose again!!!! Let us be reminded of His death, not just today, but everyday!!!....The Lord Jesus died for us not just to wash away our sins, but to deal will the root of the problem as well....us!!! He died, so that we may die with Him!!!! So when He died, we died. Watchman Nee said: "When the Lord Jesus was on the Cross all of us died-not individually, for we have not yet been born-but being in Him, we died with Him." And guess what? Jesus has ALREADY died....so it's all done and finished!!!!! Hallelujiah!!!!!.......today is a joyful day!!!!!
If you don't know what i mean about us dying with Him...don't fret..:)....read Romans 4-6!!! Personally note: Romans 7 and 8 is good too!!!...hey, but if you read Romans 7, you better read Romans 8 as well and link them together!!!!!!...cuz a lot of people misinterpret Romans 7 when it is by itself!!!!

anyways...i will write some more tonite...i will speak more about the curtain that is torn then...so say tune!!!

another 12 hours at the library today...

-today was good!!..didn't get as much studying as I hoped i would...ah well. I had a little bible study will sonja today in the library. It's so funny, we can't keep ourselves away from the bible...don't get me wrong, it's a good thing. heheh...i think there was a point when i said: "sonja, we gotta stop talking to each other and study!!!" and then sonja replied: "okay, that's easy, we'll just stop opening our bibles!!!"....heheh...i love that girl!

-I was feeling a bit overwhelmed today about exams and university and my program and so forth. After talking to karyn on the phone, i was just sitting there, thinking a bit...and then suddenly what karyn once said came to my mind, "Whether you know it or like it or not, the Spirit of God that is in you is worshipping the Father right now!!!!" and i was like...yeah, this is the real me, this is my nature....not to worry but I have a new spirit that always, and i mean always worships the Father!!!.my nature is to worship my Father..Praise God!!! but i think it's cool, cuz eventhough in my mind i was thinking about it, but my heart was still at peace. The peace was there all along, becuz Christ is peace, i just needed to remind myself that!!!.
-After knowing that i'm freeD i think i'm starting to live out my life in accordance to the freedom that the Lord has already given me!! I'm learning more to trust myself now, eventhough there are times that i need to remind myself that I am a new creation!..but it's cool! "For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ."~1 Cor 2:16. We have the mind of Christ!!!! yeah!!!! Trust yourself!!!

here karyn, I updated today's blog just for you....

We Lost!!!!
-that was such an intense game...3 overtimes!!!...wow, what a game! eventhough we lost, i must say that the leafs did a pretty good job hanging in there!!!...GO LEAFS GO!!!...oh yeah, did you see Belfour tonite?...man he's good!!!....i've decided that Belfour is my hero....he is really really good...too bad cujo, it could have been you!!!..:)

-wow, spent another 12 hours in the library today......man!!! For all the froshies next year, this is university!!!!
-sitting in the library, i was thinking how quickly this year has gone by, i won't be a froshie no more!! i still remember the first day i moved in here, it seems like it was just yesterday...wow, crazy!!.:). Karyn told me that being a second year is the worst, "You're not old enough to pick on the youngies and you're not young enough to be noticed..." hehe, i thought that was pretty funny!
-i was thinking as well how my life have changed so much, i feel like my life have just begun...and i'm so excited!!!!...everything i see is different now, so different!!!! and it's not like the Lord just showed me parts of Him..but He revealed Himself, meaning everything of HIM...i'm freeD..the Lord is good!

There is one thing that is very very important that all christians must know. We must never focus our lives upon "the sins"....God has dealt with that by sending His son. As watchman nee said, "..but God is saying that we should not make redemption to be everything, as though man were created to be redeemed." No! God came not to just cleanse us from our "sins"...yes, that was part of His death, but that is not everything!!! Therefore there is no condemnation, if God doesn't condemn us, then why do we still condemn ourselves???...we must note that Jesus laid down His life, that life emerged in many lives. That is the ultimate goal, that Jesus died so that we may live in a NEW LIFE!!! and this New Life consists of a new spirit and everything of God..and i'm saying, ONLY things that are of God...isn't that amazing? And not just that, but we already have the new life and it is not by our work, and will never be by our works.. Praise God because I already have all the characteristics of God because it is Christ that is living it out for me!! We are no longer slaves, so stop living as if you are still a slave!!!! "Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those by nature are not gods. But now that you know God-or rather are known by God-how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?"
"His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile(re-conciliation: before we were meant to be with Him) both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility." one new man!!!!...,us and Christ=One new man!!!!. Wow!!! God is so Good...!!!!...AHHHHH!!!...

-currently a bit tired...spent more than 12 hours in the library today...feeling a bit overwhelmed with exams( I feel like i dont' know anything)...
-but besides all that studying, something louder speaks in my heart....

God is sooo good....

-did you know that we are no longer slaves, but daughers and sons.....do you know that slaves do not have the same privileges as sons and daughters. sons and daughters can inherit what the Father owns. And we are sons and daughters, we are heirs, so that we may recieve the full rights of sons. The full rights of sons...we have the right to claim what the Lord has already given to us in Christ...which is everything that the Lord has and is. isn't that just so cool. We can call our Lord our Father. Our Father...yeah!
-This freedom is spreading, the good news is spreading among ACFers and i know that this is what God wants...i mean, if you were there in the library today, you will know what i'm talking about....it's like 4 different groups of people talking about the same thing. and then suddenly you hear, "ohh..i think i know", or "i wanna know more..." God is so good.
-i'm full of this unspeakable joy right now......and my only respond is "Praise God...Hallelujiah...!!! I love you Lord!!!"

first thing first...before i forget..:).... Happy Birthday Erica-ca-ca!!!!....wow big two 0!!!!...you're not a teen no more..!!!..:)

GO LEAFS GO....leading the series 2-1...YEAH!!!!...tonite was intense...it was like a 4 hours game....2 overtimes....crazy...so much for studying..!!!

seriously, i'm not getting any studying done. i feeling a bit stress....ahhhh.....no one can get studying done in weldon, cuz everyone is there. i mean, today i kept reading the bookS and sharing it with sonja.....work=zero. learning from school=zero. failing exams=probably. if i get kicked out from university, i don't care, i'm still coming back....this place is too awesome.

but then again, i'll never trade anything for those small talks i had with people in the library.:)...God is still SOOOOoooOOOo Good. today was good, although i didn't get much done.....however, God spoke to me in so many different ways. and it's cool, cuz when i was reading the bible,utmost, and normal christian life.....i kept repeating the same line to myself..."YES...i KNOW....I AGREE..IT"S SO TRUE!!!"....i'm so excited....and so i conclude that today was a good day...even though i didn't study much...:)

"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." "You used to walk in these ways....since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator."....past tense!!!!...it's been done

Cease Striving!!!!
Oswald Chambers agrees with me too or more like i agree with him too..heheh, "God's life in us expresses itself as God's life, not as human life trying to be godly."

yeah....19..finally!!

i'm glad...cuz to think back to the last birthday...(we always do that, well, at least i do)....i see how much i've changed. i mean, just the concept of "birthday" changed in my heart. no expectations this year. not wanting to be all about me. everything was different, my heart was so glad that this birthday was not like any other "birthdays" i had in the past. i have changed a lot. and the best part is....I LOVE IT!!!

let me tell you a bit of what happened on my birthday:
-well yesterday, we went to Rockwaters...we had yummy ribs and watched a movie. "how to lose a guy in 10 days.."
-after dinner, they(my friends) got me a piece of cake and they sang happy birthday, but that wasn't it, they got the "piano guy" to sing happy birthday as well. i thought that was cool.
-today, (my actual birthday), i went to church, then had lunch with friends and then went to study at weldon.
-after that, i went to Roger's and Pam's for bible study...like what i do every Sunday. At the end of the meeting, they got me two huge cakes and we celebrated again.
-oh yeah...i got a huge rock as a present...painted...it says C-19 on it...heheh...it was so heavy. And i also got other presents..like a book from sonja, picture frame with picture from jesse, and another picture frame with pictures inside from glen, jus, caleb, and cho...hehe..Thankx guys.

This past week has been full of JOY and JOY and more JOY. I had a privileged to witnessed this week the greatness of my Father and to see Him move so evidently in someone's life. i saw with my very own eyes, my brother in Christ, finally "knowing" this freedom. The power that the Lord has over someone's heart is so great and evident that we can't deny His love. Isn't that incredible? Tonite was really really amazing...to see three people coming to know and so much more wanting to know. And I KNOW that they will know. All this knowing...hehehe. But God is so AWESOME...so AMAZING. He is my father, and praise God that I am His daughter. And this sonship is not just for me....but for EVERYONE who believes in HIM. PRAISE GOD!!!! We are no longer slaves, but daughters and sons..when we weak, we are VERY strong.!!!!....if the son has set you free, you SHALL be free INDEED!!!....duh!!!!!...hhehehheeh.....this, i would say, is the best birthday present ever!!!!!!!!.....and you know, it's gonna keep coming...i'm expecting God to do more...He is gonna give people a new heart and to reveal to them that HE HAS DONE IT ALREADY!!!!!.....yea...CEASE STRIVING!!! praise God!!!!

-oh yeah...gotta thank bessy for teaching me how to change the colors and the font size for this page.....

...i'm currently in the library right now...suppose to be studying. I can never study in my own room because of my laptop and the internet. And ofcuz, smart cora decided to bring her laptop with her today to the library.....studying?=zero!!! Icq=oh yeah. Blogging=what i'm doing right now.

...and who's fault is it that i'm not studying?? the great invention of wireless network in the library and ofcuz stupid Jesse who told me to bring my laptop here..!!! grrr....

...should go back to studying........stupid bessy is wearing my sunglasses and looking weird and funny. well, he alway looks weird and funny, with or without my sunglasses. I would say that my sunglasses actually makes him look better, cuz it covers half of his face...hahah...he's gonna kill me now!!!...

..anyways..i will go back to studying...bye!!

Monkeys: Top (L to R) Karyn, Cora Jesse
Bottom: Debbie, Alex, Cheryl

Things that are still stuck in my head:

....no longer do I have to try and struggle to please the Lord, It will be Christ who is in me that would be doing it all....Cease Striving!!!!!!!!!.....haha....still can't get over that!!!!!

....we are NO LONGER SLAVES, but daughters and sons.....praise the Lord for that!!!!!!!!

....when we are weak, we are VERY STRONG!!!!

....YEAH!!!!

....happy happy happy happy......

wow, haven't blogged for so long...

-i'm overflowed with joy right now. Thinking of how great and amazing God is. I think He has really blessed our fellowship this year and i am so excited for next year. I mean, God is doing so much already, think about what He will do next year!!!..wow!!! I am so excited...:) I think i'm so happy cuz I see that people are coming to know more about this freedom that the Lord gives us. It is so amazing to see the passion and the desire that people have. Some of the people here really really wants to know the freedom and I know that they will know one day because the Lord is faithful. I'm already so happy knowing that they will know one day, can you imagine when that day comes....i think i'll be so happy that i wouldn't be able to sleep for like 10 days or something...hehehhe!!! The Lord is so good.
-another thing that i think is really cool. I think we've all heard of the verse "be still and know that i am God." But did you know that in the king james version or the NASB version it says "Cease striving, and know that I am God." Isn't it cool? Cease striving, the Lord is telling us to stop doing things or stop striving to do things for Him. Not just that, but He is talking about us trying to be "better", He is telling us to stop. The Lord says acknowledge ME and I'll do everything for you. Stop trying to do it yourself, that will never work. Praise God that I don't have to do anything but acknowledge that He is the one that is doing everything for me. As Paul said, "It is no longer I who lives, but Christ..." Cool...Cease striving...cease striving...yeaH!!! cease striving....COOL!!!!

Two things i think that are very very cool....

1.) Did you know that our sins are a debt to God??...a debt??....and the most incredible thing is that He has forgiven our debt!!!!....wow, HE, our God, has forgiven our debt. Things that we owe to Him. This is the freedom God talks about!!! I mean, can you imagine living a life having a load of debts, and owing people things. I mean, for me, i would be so scared and live in a life of fear, guilt...etc...and i'll be so paranoid and...you can image. So why then do we still live in a life full of guilt, shame, fear???...God has freed us and forgiven us of our debts!!!..yeah, so live as if your sins ARE forgiven.....:)..."And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.~Matthew 18:27. felt compassion and RELEASED HIM!!!!....cool..heh?

2.) Did you know that "the Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." It's so wonderful and assuring to know that cuz we can plead this promise to God when we pray for the unbelievers. The Lord does not show favoritism, He loves "the Christians", the same way that he would love the non-believers. Do not be discourage when we pray for the non-believers/your friends, take comfort that the Lord is not slow in his promise, and He does not want anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. How nice to know that!!!

that's it for me today....wow...thursday nights are the nights that i wonder how i can survive living another day in residence!!!...people are so loud, and drunk!!!..."okay already!! quit knocking on my door at 3 in the morning!!!".....grrr...it's gonna be a long night....

...:)...yeah....it's working again

...not working, can't post...

thoughts and events from the past few days:

-I'm so tired.......i had three hours of sleep last night from doing my psyc report and my calc assignment. And i had a long day today, met up with sonja and planned for women cell. It was really really cool, cuz we didn't plan much, we talked a lot. Sonja is SoOooOOoo cool...:)...i love that girl, she's so cheerful all the time. I talked to her a lot about freedom today. I think it's really cool how my whole world revolves around this freedom that i've been learning, the Lord is so good. And i think that the Lord is slowly spreading this whole freedom thing in ACF. Then after that i met up with cheryl, kendrick and sonja for pre study. The bible study was pretty good, but a bit confusing. It was on Mary and Martha. And Martha is not a bad person!!!! We always assume from reading Luke 10:38-42, that Martha is the bad person. "don't be like martha, be like Mary." But i've learned today that the Lord loves them both equally and that they are each made individually for a purpose. So it's okay to be like Martha or it's okay to be like Mary. Don't try to be someone else whom you're not, (like A.W. Tozer, or Paul, Hudson Taylor...they are so cool.), but just be yourself. . and if sonja is reading this, cuz i gave her the link to my blog today..(speaking with Jesse's tone)...."We need each other!! Yeah!!!(clap,clap) " ...hehhehe
-I've been thinking how it's so cool that i'm not hanging out with the ppl i use to hang out with as much, too cliquey. I shouldn't be mad or dissappointed cuz i don't hang around them as much, cuz this way, i get to know more people..:)..like sonja, heidi, gloria, josh...they are all so cool...:). Yeah!! God did what He did cuz it's better for me...yeah..!!...i'm so tired, i don't think i'm making much sense at all.
-Anyways, had a chance to talk to Lydia yesterday. Wow..for like almost 2 hours on the phone. She's cool..i like her..heheh..she's always been someone that i constantly think about and it's really cool to hear the things that the Lord has been teaching her. She's growing, and i'm so glad that I get to see that and i rejoice so much to see my sister in Christ learning so much about the Lord.
-Ofcuz, Steph as well. That girl, heheh, she is so wonderful...i've been able to witness her growth for the past few years. I still remember the first time she accepted and her eagerness to know more about Him. I think one thing i admire the most about her is her willingness to listen to the things i blab about all the time. hehhehe...
-I've finally shared about the things that has been going on in my life on Sunday. Yeah...for the first time at Roger's, i've shared about the love that the Lord has revealed in me and the fear that He had set me free from. I told Roger that i was scared of him, hehehhe, but not anymore....hahhaha....i think Roger is really really cool...hehehhe, i've been praying for a counselor who would understand me, and God is so gracious. I think now i just have to try to talk to him...like really talk to him....hehhehehe..:). God is so good. Roger was saying on Sunday about how we need to follow our Jesus. When we get to heaven, it's not what we've accomplished that matters to God, but if we had followed Him. Roger said that it's the willingness to follow Him that truly counts. The willingness to give up everything, and i mean, everything, so that we may follow him. And in order to follow Him, we must know Him and be familiar with where He's going. And i've learned that it is okay to say "i don't know", and that we shouldn't planned out our steps or our dreams or what we are going do in the future. cuz..."The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." We should be a mystery...so it is okay to say, "umm..i don't know what exactly i'll be doing this summer." cool..eh??
-And i was surprised when tiff dropped me a note on icq.
"hey cora, just wanted to leave u a msg, a smile and a hug. I know we haven't talked in ages but i want u to know i'm thinking of you and i hope everything's going well. luv ya lots. *hugs*"
ohh...i miss that girl..she's so far away. but that's okay, our prayers will unite us together...:)
-lalala...soooOOoooo tired.
*just some random thoughts, sorry if it didn't make sense...*

this is not working....i can't post my thoughts up...